Opposites may attract, but when it comes to choosing your spouse, you're more likely to pick someone who has similar personality traits. That's according to a team of researchers who've determined that old married couples who seem eerily similar in their mannerisms started out that way, rather than adopting parts of their partner's personality over time.

"Existing research shows that spouses are more similar than random people," lead author Mikhila Humbad of Michigan State University said in a statement. "This could reflect spouses' influence on each other over time, or this could be what attracted them to each other in the first place." Her investigation, which analyzed data from over 1,200 couples who had been married for an average of 19.5 years, showed one clear message: amazingly, even two decades of marriage can't cause individual personality traits to shift. Rather, any similarities were there to begin with.

When you start dating someone new, how long should you wait before hopping into bed? While generations before us have generally accepted that sex on the first date is taboo, lately the lines seem a bit blurred -- we're still driven by the "take it slow" mantras of our parents, but we're also heavily influenced by the liberated Samantha Jones-types who figure that sex is no big deal. Does it matter when you sleep with someone? Is there any point in waiting?

Maybe, according to recent studies on relationships. In surveys of nearly 700 heterosexual adults done by Anthony Paik and colleagues from the University of Iowa, they found that people who held off on jumping into bed right away had a better connection with their partner. "There's something about the characteristics of people who wait before sex that is linked to higher-quality relationships," Paik told Reuters.

The researchers found that 56 percent of people who waited to have sex reported having a high quality relationship, compared to 27 percent for people who'd slept with someone while dating casually. Think having a "friend with benefits" is the way to go? Only 17 percent claimed to have quality relationships when having sex in a non-romantic relationship.

Do you believe that love conquers all? Well, a book states that your partner's earning power is more important for your relationship's long-term health. Elizabeth Ford, co-author of Smart Girls Marry Money: How Women Have Been Duped Into the Romantic Dream - And How They're Paying For It, explains how marriage is like a business and why settling for a safe bet is sometimes a good idea.

Q: What's the key message you're trying to communicate with the book?

A: The key message we want to communicate is that women who want to marry need to be smart about the choice that they make and not be blinded by "love" alone. Marriage is the most important economic partnership most people will ever enter into, and women need to take the time to explore and evaluate the economics of a relationship before walking down the aisle.

Women are called "gold-diggers" if they consider their economic security when shopping for a husband, but have you ever heard the term "beauty digger" applied to men who want to marry a beautiful woman? Of course not. Women are asked to adhere to higher standards but are judged harshly when they look out for the economic well-being of themselves and their children. Not every woman wants or needs to be married, but for those that do, a failure to watch the financial bottom line before tying the knot is simply foolish.

Ever wondered if men are more likely to cheat on some types of women over others? Well, a new study finds evidence that some kinds of relationships are more prone to infidelity. The study's researcher, Christin Munsch from Cornell University, recently presented her findings at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association. Here we ask her for more details.

Q: Can you explain the core findings of your study?

A: My research finds a relationship between economic dependency and one's likelihood of engaging in infidelity such that, for men, the more economically dependent one is on a female partner, the more likely he is to engage in infidelity.

Ironically, the research also indicates that the more economically dependent a man's female partner is on him, the more likely he is to engage in infidelity. In other words, the couples that are most "safe" from cheating, are those in which both partners contribute relatively equally to the shared income pool, or partnerships where the man makes a little more than the woman.

Are you looking for a way to bring more love into your life? Relationship coach Dr. Deborah Anapol, author of The Seven Natural Laws of Love, uses spiritual principles to explain how.

Q: What are the seven natural laws of love?

A: 1. Love is its own law: Let love be your guiding principle. When in doubt, listen to your heart. Don't allow mental concepts, beliefs, or assumptions that are not based on love to dictate your behavior.

2. The law of source: You are the source of love. The love inside you is abundant and eternal. You don't need to beg, control, or compromise in order to be loved.

3. The law of attraction: The more you focus on love and gratitude, the more you will be surrounded by love. If you complain, blame, and dwell on fear, you'll attract others who are also resentful, angry, and fearful.

4. The law of unity: Love knows no borders and no boundaries. Love includes everyone and everything. Love takes no position, rising above separation. Find unity within by resolving the conflicts inside yourself and you won't have to act them out with another.

5. The law of truth: Let telling the truth about who you are and what you are feeling and thinking be your foundation. Vulnerable self-disclosure allows for empathy and understanding. The more truth is shared the more love grows.

Are you and your spouse constantly tussling because one of you always appears distracted and unwilling to do his or her share? Melissa Orlov, author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage, explains the treatment options in part two of our two-part series of ADHD marriages. Last week, we looked at the signs and showed you how to diagnose the issue.

Q: What are the treatment options for someone with ADHD?

A: First, I always recommend that both partners make sure they are getting any treatment they may need. Non-ADHD partners may be suffering from depression or other health issues as a result of the stress they've been under. Treatment for the ADHD partner in a committed relationship can be thought of as a three-legged stool – you need all three legs to be fully successful.

Leg 1 – Physiological changes: Treatments that increase the levels of dopamine in your brain, such as medications, fish oil and aerobic exercise.

Leg 2 – Behavioural or habit changes: Creating external structures to support getting things done well and on time. There are a huge variety of these. Putting a key rack near the garage entry so your keys don't end up in the refrigerator is one example. Teaching yourself not to retreat from conversations, but to engage, is another.

Are you and your spouse constantly tussling because one of you always appears distracted and unwilling to do his or her share?
Melissa Orlov, author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage, explains the signs and symptoms in part one of our two-part series on ADHD marriages.

Q: What is ADHD?

A: The medical community officially recognizes Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) with three "subtypes" or varieties: ADHD with hyperactivity; ADHD with distractibility as the primary feature, and a subtype that combines the two. Simplified, ADHD is a series of symptoms that result from a chemical imbalance in the brain, most importantly but not exclusively a lack of the neurotransmitter dopamine. Dopamine plays a big role in attention, the ability to focus and plan, organization skills and more. As a result, people with the distractibility type of ADHD consistently have these types of symptoms:

• Fails to pay close attention to details
• Has difficulty organizing tasks
• Loses things necessary for tasks
• Is easily distracted

Of these, chronic distraction is the most important symptom.

According to Dr. Christine Meinecke, author of Everybody Marries the Wrong Person: Turning Flawed into Fulfilling Relationships, a good marriage isn't a matter of finding your perfect match. Here, she explains the problem with unrealistic expectations of marriage and why disenchantment is inevitable, but that a true partnership is something you can build if you're both willing to take responsibility for your own behaviour.

Q: What do you mean when you say everybody marries the wrong person?

A: Short answer: There are no right people! Longer answer: Everybody marries the wrong person means there is a need to completely change our mindset about marriage. Couples who hope to succeed at marriage do themselves serious disservice by following conventional wisdom and old thinking about marriage. The main problem with old thinking is that it sets unrealistic expectations that breed dissatisfaction.

Q: How are expectations of marriage unrealistic?

Are you thinking about getting engaged but still wondering if your partner is right for you? Michael Batshaw, psychotherapist and author of 51 Things You Should Know Before Getting Engaged, explains what you need to consider before taking the plunge.

Q: What are some of the most common mistakes people make when they get engaged?

A: First, couples that don't argue are in trouble. Wedding planning can be stressful, so don't get engaged before you have become sufficiently annoyed at and resentful of certain aspects of your partner's personality. It's essential to have the visceral experience of such annoyance and resentment in order to heighten your awareness and develop a depth of understanding as regards to your partner's strengths and weaknesses.

Secondly, marriage is also a business, and money is a real issue-especially during the planning stage. When you share a life, who you spend money on and how freely you do so may differ. So make sure you have a sobering discussion about finances before you say "I Do."

Wouldn't it be wonderful if your relationship consistently played out like the final scene in Notting Hill, Love Actually or Serendipity? Oh, eternal bliss! Sure, everybody loves a happy ending, but recent research suggests these idyllic scene may not be doing us any favours. In fact, it seems that romantic comedies could be ruining our love lives.

Are we deluded enough to confuse on-screen romances with our real ones? Not necessarily, but films can lead us to have unrealistic expectations when it comes to romance. In a recent poll of over 1,000 Australians, over half said that romantic comedies had distorted their view of an ideal relationship, while 20 percent said that these films had made their relationship more difficult because their partner now expected more from them.

Studies done at the University of Edinburgh a few years ago also confirm this; Rom coms definitely affect our ability to communicate with our partners. In fact, the researchers determined that people who count films like Maid in Manhattan and The Wedding Planner among their favourites expected their significant others to intuitively know what they were thinking. After all, that's what happens when you're "meant to be," right? Not surprisingly, the goings on of a J-Lo movie don't always translate to real life.

Each morning, we dish out a few links we love.

Remember the good old days of elementary school, when the highlight was always recess? Experts recommend that adults take recess too, though you might look a bit strange dangling from the monkey bars in heels and nylons. Best to stick to a brisk walk, perhaps?

Don't let a few bad dating experiences make you bitter -- Here are some tips for keeping your spirits up, even when you're kissing too many frogs.

Is it possible to lose more than 250 pounds without eating a single salad? One dieter did just that, proving you can hate vegetables and slim down. We don't recommend it, however.

Summer snacking can be dangerous -- check this handy guide to find out what you should be skipping and what you should load your fridge with.

If you suspect your husband -- that jerk guy with the speedy metabolism who can inhale a chocolate cake without gaining an ounce -- might be making you fat, here's advice on how to avoid the pitfalls of a metabolically imbalanced marriage.

The dating pool is wide open these days for singles in their twenties and thirties. There's more choice, more ways to find a partner, and more time to settle down. How can women with seemingly limitless dating options make a partner choice that doesn't feel like settling? Or is settling part of the process? Amalia McGibbon, Lara Vogel and Claire Williams, co-authors of The Choice Effect, explain how an abundance of choices has changed the world of love and dating.

Q: What is the "Choice Effect?"

A: The Choice Effect refers to the impact an overabundance of options has on our love lives. We coined a term to describe those affected: "choister," or people in their twenties and thirties who were born into a world where everything felt possible. Clearly, we're speaking of a fairly privileged section of the global population, but for those of us who grew up with parents, teachers and television saying the "world was our oyster," we now face a situation where we've taken that literally and don't want to settle for anything less. The Choice Effect is what happens when a generation loves choices and hates choosing.

If all of your coupled friends seem to be splitting up lately, it might be time to give your own relationship a marriage checkup -- studies show that divorce is contagious, and researchers have likened it to a virus spreading among groups of close-knit friends.

The occurrence of "divorce clustering" was discovered by a team of researchers who have been observing over 12,000 people in a New England town since 1948. They concluded that divorce has a ripple effect on a community -- with people who have had a close friend divorce at the highest risk of a split themselves. The risk posed by other couples divorcing doesn't stop there: "A person's tendency to divorce depends not just on his friend's divorce status, but also extends to his friend's friend," said Dr Rose McDermott of Brown University, one of the authors on the study.

Quite simply, if a close friend has undergone a recent divorce, you are 147 percent more likely to get divorced yourself. If a friend of a friend is getting divorced, your risk increases by 33 percent -- though, luckily, no effect was observed on friends of friends of friends. However, it's not just friends who jeopardize your marital status. Having a work colleague going through a divorce increases your risk by 55 per cent, compared to 22 per cent for a sibling.

You have your teeth cleaned regularly and you get checked out by your doctor once a year, but what do you do when it comes to the healthy maintenance of your marriage? The Marriage Checkup, A project at Clark University in Massachusetts, aims to stop major problems before they start by offering feedback on and tinkering with concerns that arise for a couple. Project director Dr. James Cordova explains how it works and how to spot some clear red flags.

Q: What is the Marriage Checkup and how does it work?

A: The Marriage Checkup is intended to be the marital health equivalent of the dental checkup or the annual physical health checkup. It is designed to help couples identify their relationship strengths and to catch areas of concern earlier rather than later. We're testing a model in which couples receive annual marital health checkups and early research results are promising -- they show couples increasing in relationship satisfaction, intimacy, acceptance, and increased active marital health care.

The Marriage Checkup book guides couples through the most important relationship health domains, including communication, problem-solving, co-parenting, intimacy, sex, acceptance, forgiveness, and healthy emotional expression. It provides couples with questions to help them assess their strengths and areas of concern, and we provide information from the research literature to help them understand what we know about these relationship areas, plus menus of options to choose from to help couples effectively address any areas of concern.

Ever wondered about the essential ingredients for a happy marriage? In a new book, A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage: The Essentials for Long-Lasting Togetherness, author and therapist Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill offers readers tips on how to make their marriage work for the long haul.

Q: What makes for a happy marriage?

A: A happy marriage is filled with soothing behaviours that have "leanability" and get you through the overwhelming times rather than stopping you in your tracks. These are little behaviours, that, when individually considered, are certainly not earth-shattering but over time create a sum in a marriage that is so much greater than its parts.