Ever considered adding a little kink to your love life? You're far from alone. Judy Dutton, author of How We Do It: How the Science of Sex Can Make You a Better Lover, explains how to get started.


Q: Why are people drawn to kinky sex?

Kink is the extreme sports of sex. Up to 60 percent of adults have kinky fantasies, and 14 percent of men and 11 percent of women will follow through with them at some point. As for why, kinky people score high for a psychological trait called "sensation seeking," a measure of one's need for new and intense experiences. Firefighters, mountain climbers, and other risky professionals also score high for this trait. So, kinky people are merely the sexual equivalent of someone who enjoys taking risks and pushing their boundaries in bed.

Q: What are some of the most common kinks?

Bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism - otherwise known as BDSM. That said, scientists estimate that there are more than 50 kinds of kinks in total. "Sploshers," for example, love sitting on cream cakes or diving into bathtubs full of spaghetti. "Nasophiles" are aroused by noses. Many kinks are culturally based. In Great Britain after World War II, hundreds of people developed a fetish for wearing gas masks. After the 1950s, when balloons became popular party favours, "Looners" appeared claiming they got aroused by inflating or popping balloons.

Q: What if your partner's into kink and you're not? Can you be taught to like kinky sex?

Yes. People can be trained to be kinky through a simple Pavlovian process called conditioning. In one experiment, men viewed an image on screen of black boots for 15 seconds, followed by an image of an attractive naked woman for thirty seconds. After repeating this boots-then-babes combo thirty times, men began showing signs of arousal to the boots alone. There's even some evidence that our sexual interests are designed to become kinky over time. In another experiment, men and women were given a selection of porn tapes to watch. While most men and women picked fairly tame stuff at first, by the eighth week they started reaching for some kinky alternatives just to spice things up.

Q: Any tips for introducing some kink into your sex life?

If you're unsure where to start, try tuning into what you already find a turn-on and take it from there. If, for example, you like when your partner pins your wrists or keeps you on the brink of orgasm (or you like doing those things), then bondage might be the next logical step. Or if you enjoy rough sex, increasing the pain quota with some light spanking might hit the spot. If you're ready to graduate toward more advanced antics, don't be afraid to get some guidance. Yoga instructors and cookbooks exist for a reason: It's easier to learn from the pros than just wing it. The same is true for kink. Search online for classes in your area (The Eulenspiegel Society at tes.org is the oldest and largest organization based in New York), or buy a book for beginners like How To Be a Dominant Diva.