The girls from Ames – Karla, Kelly, Marilyn, Jane, Jenny, Karen, Cathy, Angela, Sally, Diana and Sheila – developed a close friendship growing up in Iowa in the 1960s and 1970s and have since seen each other through decades of heartbreak, career changes, long-distance moves, divorce, cancer, and the deaths of parents and children.

In his new book, The Girls From Ames: A Story of Women and a Forty-Year Friendship, Wall Street Journal columnist Jeffrey Zaslow tells the story of their unique bond. Here, Zaslow discusses why the girls from Ames have stuck together through the decades, and why men often miss out on these kinds of connections.

Q: Why did you write about these particular women? You must come across inspiring stories all of the time.

A: I have three daughters and a wife, so I'm outnumbered. But I'm always curious about how my daughters are going to go through life and who's going to be there and who's going to love them. I realize that friendship is so important, so that's why the topic interests me. But I write about life transitions for the Wall Street Journal and I had written a column about female friendships and heard from about 300 women about their longtime friends. I put all of those emails in a drawer for about three years until I wondered if there might be a book in there. I found an email from Jenny from Ames and I was pretty moved by it so I called her.

Q: It's amazing that such a large group has remained intact, with no members falling into an abyss of non-communication. Why do you think these women have been able to sustain this long and devoted friendship?

A: I think the answer lies in those Midwestern values and the bond of Ames; they call Ames their "womb," like they're sisters who grew from the same womb. I've been hearing from women since the book came out about their lifelong friends and so I know that they're not completely unique, but I also hear from women who have lost touch with those old friends.

Q: Are the girls from Ames exceptional or typical or both?

A: They're exactly both. The story I had to tell felt unique, but there are a lot of universal things about their friendship. Studies show that women become more focused on their friendships in their 40s and it felt that way with them, too. And the differences between their friendships and their husbands' friendships – men's friendships are side by side doing things, and women's friendships are face to face talking to each other.

Q: You reference 25 to 40 as the toughest time for women to sustain close friendships, as they often move around, get married and start a family. Did you see this pattern in the Ames girls?

A: Yes. When they were younger and had just gotten married and started having kids, to connect with friends they'd have to call or send letters. Email has been a great gift to them because they just love that "Reply All" button.

Q: Did you hear any stories that particularly attested to their devotion to one another?

A: What didn't end up in the book was just how hard this book was to see to fruition. They agreed to share their stories and then they got nervous when I showed them an early draft of half the book. They all shared letters with me, and one girl shared six years of diaries to me, but I learned things that the others didn't know. There were issues and friction between them, and some of them weren't happy with me. But proof of their friendship came in how they dealt with the book and how they became a united front in how they talked to me. They realized the friendship was more important than the book, and they would have walked away from the book.

Q: How is the friendship different now that it was when these women were in their 20s?

A: I didn't know them then, but I think they're more mature now. Their ambition is to be happy and to see their kids happy. In their 20s and teens they were looking for a good time – and looking for guys. There's a lot of looking for guys in the book. They're stronger now than they were. They weren't always sure they were going to make it. They love each other, but you know how things go. But the death of Karla's daughter was a turning point, and I think they knew then that they would be together until the end. Now, two of them have breast cancer and they're there together through that. I have no doubts that they'll be lifelong friends. Studies have shown that your friends don't change much from 50 to the end of your life.

Q: Was this book revelatory for you as a man? You write about your longstanding poker game with a bunch of guys who pretty much only discuss poker.

A: Completely. I don't think I could do it like the women do, but I envy them. I have a friend who says "I love you" to me all of the time, and he makes me uncomfortable. But I do appreciate how easily these women do that and I do wish that for my daughters.

The Girls From Ames from Jeffrey Zaslow on Vimeo.

Q: What value do you think these women add to each other's lives?

A: They make each other happy, and studies show [close friendships] are good for your health. For the two women who have breast cancer, the other women send flowers every week they have treatment. That's a pretty wonderful thing, to have those flowers come in and see that people care about you.

Q: Do you ever feel like you're missing out?

A: Of course. I have friends, but I don't think they would send me flowers every week if I was going through chemo.

Q: But you still haven't been persuaded to start saying "I love you"?

A: I haven't. I don't do it easily. Do you? You probably do, you're a woman. I can say it to my daughters. But with my male friends? I've already been writing this girly book for years.