Transvestite Day in Seventh Grade?
Categories: Mack Daddy
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Today was "cross-dressing day" at my oldest son's (age 12) school.
Wasn't quite sure, as a father, how I felt about it all.
He's getting quite tall, is old #1 son. Also, for a boy, if I may say so –and I'm not the only one saying it, almost literally every woman who comes through the door of the Daddy household remarks on it –is quite astonishingly beautiful: chestnut hair; hazel eyes; button nose; and a slow, reluctant smile that, as someone once said about the smile of Antoine de Saint-Exupery (him who wrote The Little Prince) "leaves a permanent wound on your heart."
So there he stood this morning, in one of his mother's dresses, a pair of her high-heeled thigh-boots (well, they were thigh boots on him: on her I suppose they only come to the top of the calf), and a pink ha t–and backpack: ready to head off to school.
Mack didn't know what to think. Literally, I did not know what to think. Was this just a bit of fun? Should I let him go to school like that, or not? Am I being a killjoy if I don't? Or, on the other hand, a bad dad if I do?
It was a tough parenting choice, I found.
"You can forbid it if you want," Mrs. Daddy said, slipping into her own pair of high-heeled boots (like just about every urban woman these days, she's been favouring the tight-jeans-tucked-into-sexy-boots look: Mack approves).
In the end I didn't. I advised him that I wouldn't do it if I were him. I told him about a brunch party Mrs. Daddy and I went to once where everyone was told to wear pyjamas to the party, but only Mrs. Daddy and I and one other guest actually did it, and we felt foolish and looked foolish the whole time.
(True, we made fast friends with the other guest, one of Mack's favourite friends, a woman named Miranda: we're still friends, some 10 years later: we felt so dumb, we couldn't talk to anyone else, so we talked to one another, and a friendship was born.)
"I like looking and feeling foolish," #1 son said.
So there you have it, my bloggies. To tell you the truth, I admire his insouciance and sauciness.
What would you have done, my bloggies? Let him go in full cross-dressing mode, or put your foot down?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
lolita 5-07-2009 @ 8:18AM
I think that if the school authorities or who ever came up with the idea had just left it to a costume day or whatever, I think there would be less stressing over the pressure, politically, socially, peer-wise, to participate in a dubious celebration of a cultural anomalie. I cant see the benefit of it in any other manner other than to further someone's political agenda at the school board.
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karl 5-07-2009 @ 4:49PM
I agree! It sounds like an agenda that I don't agree with too!
Natalie 5-07-2009 @ 8:22AM
I would have let him go, fully dressed and proud. If it was Cross Dressing day at school (which I find extremely peculiar, actually...that would make me contact the school. I am all for fun school days, but cross dressing may just be too controversial)then so be it. Join in, feel the pain of the high heels, then change into jeans and sneakers, while thinking 'Hmmmmm, that was weird'. If nothing else, a day like that should provide great photos for the year book.
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moonflower 5-07-2009 @ 9:29AM
This is crazy and the school should not be promoting this! I think you were right in saying that you wouldn't etc. and why and but then contact the school and say it was inappropriate. I don't think it's funny or amusing and shouldn't be treated that way (being a transvestite).
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Cher 5-07-2009 @ 11:29AM
What is this world coming to? I have no problem with people dressing anyway they choose, but I don't think we should push it on our kids. Is the school board aware of this? My kids school has a strict dress code, whis is an attempt to create a proper learning environment. And what is the school trying to encourage with this day??? Pink day for anti-bulling awareness makes sense. Costume day sound a lot more reasonable to me. I don't think my husband would allow our sons to go dressed in womens wear. Its shocking to see the changes that are happening in what is exceptable to expose our children too.
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Marsha 5-20-2009 @ 6:48PM
Well, don't take the joy away from other kids. It's alright if you don't want your kids to dress up in women's wear, but if you take away the option to do it, there will be kids somewhere who are thinking, "man, we never get to have any fun, this school is so strict and serious."
They're kids.
It's fine.
Just make sure they're aware.
Mary Anne Lawless 5-07-2009 @ 12:41PM
Dressing like the other gender might give a kid a notion of how it feels to be the opposite sex and make them more empathetic.
This would definately be a brain stimulator, for parents too. It would bring up a lot of hidden prejudices and cause one to re-evaluate their perception, fears and judgement. Like the dad in the article didn't want his son to dress like a female , and he said he would not have. Why? The fear of being perceived as gay or "sissy"?, a fear of enjoying the experience? Very interesting. Intelligent people know sexuality is not learned. right?
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David Valentine 5-07-2009 @ 1:20PM
Cross-dressing day?! What is the point of this? Fun? Tolerance of a fringe-group? Oh, well. I would do as you advise, Mack. Warn him of the possibility of standing out in a crowd of non-participants.
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Karl Gustav 5-07-2009 @ 4:31PM
No one should have to dress as another person dictates.What with all the sexual problems being publicized today between teachers & students,it sounds like some teacher's fantasy.What's next? Classes on how to keep your mascara from running for the boys? Compulsory,no doubt?
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sharkush 5-07-2009 @ 5:35PM
It's time someone gave the school a slap. Why should my son be put in a position of ridicule just to fullfil someone's wet dream? Whoever started this should be told in no uncertain terms to stick to teaching or to get the heck out of reach of my kids!I have no desire to have my kids influenced by someone who's head is in the clouds.
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Georgie McFarland 5-12-2009 @ 9:07PM
This is just stupid
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Sue Hilberg 5-14-2009 @ 12:24AM
I wouldn't even allow my son to go to school that day. If this was the school's idea of tolerance I think that they have missed the mark. I don't understand why parents allow our schools to teach whatever they please. Here's a vote for private school.
Serpentira DR 5-16-2009 @ 8:15PM
Well. Wow. No! No! and NO!! What is wrong with dressing in clothes we consider to be only for the 'other' gender, which ever that may be. Really, if Mack had a daughter who had dressed as a boy, you all would've smiled and gone 'well isn't that just cute'. Perhaps is was not well named, but the acusations you've brought into play only go to show the deep-seated sexism, homophobia and transphobia that still unfortunately exist. How having a 'boy' dress as a 'girl' is somehow automatically a perverted fantasy I have very little idea. Too, if you were that concerned with the particular outfit chosen that surely would've been easy enough to remedy. In today's society there is no reason why he couldn't have worn his regular shoes instead of those boots. As for the rest of you. Loosen up and do a good self inventory. Did someone tramatize you so much as a kid that you see every transgression of these so called 'gender-norms' as the end of the universe as we know it. Sounds like you might need some counciling. You're only doing yourself, your kids, and everyone else so serious harm if you don't deal with these underlying issues and false fears.
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Bob 5-24-2009 @ 10:30PM
Its not about homophobia or transphobia or queerophobia or any word you want to make up to describe it.
Gender roles are not just some silly thing society made up to torture gay people. They are necessary to the human psyche. The problem is not that we live in a world where men can't be women. The problem is its becoming increasingly harder for men to be men.
The movie fight club takes this to an extreme, but it does a good job of illustrating the problem. Its about men who can't act as men. Modern society has stifled their male urges to fight and be agressive and have all out sex. Instead they have to be nice, and make sweet tender love, and it keeps them from being all that they can be and all this pent up agression starts to come out in the fight clubs.
Another interesting thing is that you blame homophobia on trauma, when it is usually the homosexuals that are the traumatized ones.
Marsha 5-20-2009 @ 6:49PM
I thoroughly agree.
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Marsha 5-20-2009 @ 6:56PM
What are you talking about?
It's for fun, and it's optional, and it creates a lot of fun memories and school spirit. I am so thankful for all the amazing spirit days at my school. These kinds of things are what makes going to school enjoyable. Personally, I thought that 80's Day was THE best.
No one HAS to dress up as anything for anyone. If you want to have some fun and participate, you do it. If you want to be a big prude and judge everyone, you go and sit in your lonely corner.
Teacher's fantasy... Honestly, what goes on in your mind to make you think of this? Christ.
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Margie 5-27-2009 @ 1:01AM
Wow, I'm kind of surprised this has brought out such strong feelings. When I was in school, "opposite sex day" was a common dress-up day for spirit weeks, along with "crazy hat day" and "school colors day" and "pajamas day." Not everyone participated but a lot of people did and it wasn't a big deal - it certainly wouldn't have been a sensitization thing because if anything it just perpetuated stereotypes. Men wore the ugliest, most matronly dresses they could find, women wore boots more suited for lumberjacks.
But it WAS fun.
I wouldn't have thought twice about allowing him to participate.
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