Mack and Ms. Daddy are doing a "cleanse."

I've done it once before. Ms. Daddy never has.

You get a box from the health-food store. Inside the box are three boxes of herbal pills. One set is to "cleanse," one to "stimulate the production of bile," and one is an "herbal laxative." Then there also some sort of tincture, an herbal extract. Not exactly sure what that one does, but you take two of each kind of pills and thirty drops of the tincture (with a little eyedropper they supply) twice a day.

And, uh, stay near a washroom. At least for the first few days.

Ms. Daddy is a television news reporter, dashing around the city at top speed, always in a hurry.

I've told her this cleanse may not be for her, it's better for us work-from-home types who have a washroom nearby, especially in the first few days, but she's determined to butch it out.

She's never been one to shy away from a challenge.

In any case, I don't even think it's about the pills and the tincture, so much. The key is the piece of paper in the box outlining your dietary restrictions.

It's brilliant, I think. For one thing, it makes no mention of quantities. For another, you're allowed popcorn with salt and butter-- in fact they're listed under the category from which you're supposed to get 80% of your diet.

As are baked potato with butter and chives.

Mainly, though, you eat a lot of fish, brown rice, and vegetables. No booze, no pasta, no bread, no refined sugar, or cheese. Your body takes a moment to adjust, and on the first day Mack felt kind of woozy and dizzy and had to lie down as my body cried out: "Where's the booze? Where's the sugar and flour and noodles and such?"

Ms. Daddy and I are used to, after a long hard days' work, having a vodka and 7-up, followed maybe by a big old plate of pasta alla vongole (pasta with clams: shellfish is also strictly verboten, for some reason) washed down with fine wines.

But now with all this fish and brown rice and purified water, how could we not feel like a million bucks? The pills could probably be made from ground up cardboard and sawdust (how they taste) and it wouldn't matter.

Supposedly on this cleanse you feel great, absolutely ecstatic, on days 4 and 7. We're on Day 3, and already I have to say I do feel a lot lighter and more clear-headed.

Though as Ms. Daddy did point out, early on, it is kind of boring. Most virtuous things are. Can't wait for that first drinkie-poo. Mmmmm....that's gonna taste good. Bartender! Make it a triple! And give me two-- no make that four slices of pizza! Extra cheese, bro!